We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Grandma EP

by Success 5000

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5 CAD  or more

     

1.
Grandma 02:50
Grandma's kind and Grandma's sweet And Grandma's also a racist Grandma bakes you tasty treats And Grandma's also a racist Grandma will always be there for you When you're feeling sad and blue But Grandma also hates blacks and Jews 'Cuz she's a fucking racist Grandma's on your Facebook feed And Grandma's also a racist Grandma's reposting Minions memes And Grandma's also a racist Grandma wants to make it clear That Sharia Law isn't welcome here It's an absolutely unfounded fear And she's a fucking racist Grandma goes to church on Sunday And Grandma's also a racist Grandma's going to heaven one day But she's stil totally racist Doesn't it seem slightly odd That Grandma's so pious and yet so flawed? Praying away to her racist God They're both fucking racist Grandma grew up in a different time And that's why Grandma's a racist What's offensive now used to seem just fine But that doesn't make it not racist Considering all the bullshit that she's been taught Grandma's a model of progressive thought But while some things are relative, racism's not And she's a fucking racist Stop calling them "darkies," Grandma That's not okay And while we're at it, please stop Complaing about "the gays" This isn't a complex issue, there's no shades of grey Just don't be shitty to someone based on something That doesn't affect you at all... Grandma's a person, and people aren't perfect Sometimes people are racist It's easy to act like a person is worthless But we're all a little bit racist Grandma's lived an amazing life And faced all sorts of impossible strife She was a caring mother and a devote wife And any assault on her character is totally baseless... ...except pointing out how she's a fucking racist
2.
Doo-wop 03:12
Let me tell you 'bout the woman I'm in love with She's the type of pretty you'd compare the stars above with All around the world, there's nobody else I'd pick Yeah, she's the only one who gets me horny in the dick I try to fall asleep at night, but my baby's got me wired I know I need my beauty rest, but my boner isn't tired I've tried warm milk and counting sheep, but nothing does the trick In the morning I'm still wide awake and horny in the dick I know it's silly to obsess the way I do But I can't help but wonder if she gets horny for me, too I went to see the doctor, said "You gotta fix this junk! My heartbeat's beating doubletime, my brain's all full of gunk!" The doc said "I can't help you, son, 'cuz you ain't even sick, You've got a chronic case of being horny in the dick." (OR: No one's found a cure for being horny in the dick) I went to the churchhouse, got down on my knees and prayed "Oh Baby Jesus, if you pleases, won't you take these blues away?" A preacher man walked up and said "Hey kid, what are you, thick? Jesus doesn't love you if you're horny in the dick." My mama taught me to show everyone respect And that's why I haven't told my honey that I got a big chubby and I'm horny as heck Oh my darling, I'm so in love with you It's got me so horned up, I don't know what to do But if you feel the same, by some great stroke of luck I'll take your hand in marriage, so that God has to let us fuck You got me, you got me horny in the dick, baby You got me, you got me horny in the dick You got me, you got me horny in the dick, baby You got me, you got me horny in the dick

credits

released May 20, 2016

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Success 5000 Edmonton, Alberta

contact / help

Contact Success 5000

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account