In an ancient time before Denny's existed
If you felt inclined to have some coffee and toast
You would have to embark upon a perilous journey
Through a land of darkness risking all that you love the most

You couldn't just look in the fridge, you'd have to
Climb a mountain and cross a bridge
Storm a castle and plead your case
To the only man in the world who can indulge your tastes

The breakfast sorcerer
Conjuring eggs with a wave of his hand
The breakfast sorcerer
Scrambling them without a whisk or a pan
Though it's worth fighting for
To challenge him would surely be reckless
The breakfast sorcerer
The man with the power of breakfast

Though it may seem odd this was the way the world functioned
Maybe ancient Gods considered breakfast an abominant crime
Then again, perhaps, it was the fault of some unholy enchantment
Or a major lapse in the culinary knowledge of the time

We can never really know for sure, it was a
Long, long time ago and records were poor,
Not many people even knew how to read
All we really know for sure is that in their time of need
They turned to...

The breakfast sorcerer
Making bacon appear, much to your surprise
The breakfast sorcerer
Frying it up with fire from his eyes
Though it's worth fighting for
To challenge him would surely be reckless
The breakfast sorcerer
The man with the power of breakfast

And even if you survived your quest, there was still no guarantee
If you failed to earn the favour of the sorcerer
There was no telling what your fate would be
Perhaps he'd conjure you some old, cold oatmeal
And he'd laugh and send you on your way
But if you really pissed him off, you might just
End up as the special of the day

For the breakfast sorcerer
Apparating fresh waffles with a wink of his eye
The breakfast sorcerer
As maple syrup comes raining down from the sky
A flavour so intense
You'll feel as if you've died and gone up to heaven
But heed this warning, friend
His powers disappear at eleven

In an ancient time before Denny's existed....