The prairie wind on the wheat fields
Pushing the weathervane 'round
And tossin' her hair into the shape of a fleur du lis
Or a maple leaf
A small town in southern Alberta
That's where she died
But the beavers had already gotten to the bodies
By the time the RCMP arrived
The Prime Minister had nothing to say
Not in English, not even en Francais
A loonie for my trouble and I'm on my way
And for a toonie I might even make it back some day

She was the prettiest girl in Pincher Creek
Just doing the best that she could
Like a strong female protagonist
In a novella by Margaret Atwood
She was a home-grown prairie cowgirl
Kept her heels down in the stirrups
She had eyes like Lake Ontario
And blood... blood like maple syrup

It all went down back in '67
And that was the last year the Leafs ever won the cup
They had Dave Keon, Frank Mahovlich
Bob Pulford, and little Ron Ellis
Pete Stemkowski, George Armstrong
Jim Pappin, Larry Jeffrey and John Brenneman
Brian Conacher and Eddie Shack
Mike Walton, Brit Selby and Brent Imlach
Wayne Carleton, Dick Gamble
Tim Horton, Red Kelly
Larry Hillman, Marcel Pronovost,
Kent Douglas Jim McKenny
Allan Stanley, Johnny Bower
Duane Rupp, Gary Smith
Terry Sawchuk, Bruce Gamble
Bob Baun and Al Smith
Oh Al Smith...

She was the prettiest girl in Pincher Creek
Just doing the best that she could
Like a strong female protagonist
In a novella by Margaret Atwood
She was a home-grown prairie cowgirl
Kept her heels down in the stirrups
She had eyes like Lake Ontario
And blood... blood like maple syrup

And if I saw her today...
Oh, you know what I'd say... I'd say:
"AUUUUUUGH!!!! HOLY FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!!!
AUUUUUUGH!!!! A GHOST!!!!!"